Discipline and Discipleship

I love being busy.  I mean, I don’t love it, but I sure act like I do.  I bet you do too.  We fill our days with frenetic activity, and over-commit our weeks in an effort to be productive – err – important.

We understand what it means to live beyond our means, in every sense of the word.  So often we end up in that place where we are just spent, but don’t know how to stop.

I found myself there recently.  I was taking my first semester classes at Texas A&M, working, being a part of every organization and activity that I could be a part of and then attempting to have a relationship with God somewhere in the frenzy of late night studying and a game of ultimate with friends.

In reading an article on how God works in His people in a slow, methodical way, a quote by author, Henri Nouwen, hit home with me.  He describes discipline this way:

The word discipleship and the word discipline are the same word—that has always fascinated me. Once you have made the choice to say, “Yes, I want to follow Jesus,” the question is, “What disciplines will help me remain faithful to that choice?” If we want to be disciples of Jesus, we have to live a disciplined life.

By discipline, I do not mean control. If I know the disciplines of psychology or of economics, I have a certain control over a body of knowledge. If I discipline my children, I want to have a little control over them.

But in the spiritual life, the word discipline means “the effort to create some space in which God can act.” Disciplinemeans to prevent everything in your life from being filled up. Discipline means that somewhere you’re not occupied, and certainly not preoccupied. In the spiritual life, disciplinemeans to create that space in which something can happen that you hadn’t planned on or counted on.”

So today that’s what I did.  I sat still, for hours.  I sat with my Bible, and a pen.  Slowly and intentionally, I read through the book of Amos.  I prayed.  I read.  I was silent, and listened.

And what happened?  Nothing.  That is, nothing that was apparent to me.  I trust that God is doing something in me on His time table, not mine.  For now, I’ll continue to wait.

Discipline.  ”Creat[ing] a space in which something can happen that you hadn’t planned on or counted on.”  Interesting.

Why aren’t we more disciplined people?

Winter Break

Ahh!! Winter break! Friends, Sleeping till noon, working to buy next semester's books, and family. I am loving winter break so far. What is strange and unexpected however is how much I miss College Station right now though and cannot wait to return. Since my sister has moved upstairs to my room and I now stay downstairs in the guest room it still feels like home but very different. I feel like A&M is my home now. Even with the stress and fatigue I still love being there and experiencing everything.

Here at home I have been busy though working and catching up with dear friends and spending 6+ hours in coffee shops just talking and talking with them :)
One of the things I love most is to talk with my friends and hear how life is going for them and then go home and write what I remember down so I can pray for them but also so I can look back and remember what to ask them about and people that are important to them since I know my memory with names is quite failing ;p

We will see what kind of adventures I shall have over the next few weeks including CHRISTMAS!!! Only a few days away and I get to see my amazing family! :) So excited

First Semester Behind Me

Christmas break has finally arrived!! All projects, essays and finals are finished!! My first semester at Texas A&M is complete and I have had the most amazing experience. College has been a whirlwind of craziness, knowledge, confusion, fun and finding my way. God has been the only thing that was a constant in my crazy semester and the only thing that sustained me through the craziness. RUF ( Reformed University Fellowship) and Breakaway Ministry brought me so much encouragement each week and gave me a christian community that knew how to serve God through school and plans for the future. I really have appreciated the friendships that have grown over the semester and very much look forward to continuing to grow them in the spring.. Now that the semester is out of the way Christmas celebrating can begin full force and I have been playing every Christmas song I can think of and watching sappy Christmas movies.. oh yes it is that time of year to watch the cute, sappy movies talking of Christmas spirit and drink hot chocolate by the fire.. I think I will enjoy my winter break :)

The Happiest Season of All!

It started on Friday morning as I was getting ready for classes. I got a text from my friend and classmate Emily who out of nowhere asked what I was doing this weekend and if I would like to go home with her this weekend. With no plans but to study for finals I excitedly agreed. 

A few hours later we were on our way. We decided to spend the night at her roommate's dad's house in Elgin,TX about 30 minutes out from Austin. We ended up taking an impromptu shopping trip to the city and then decided we weren't ready for sleep so we headed out in the truck looking for some fun :) Ran around in the woods looking for a legendary falls to swim in and couldn't find it so continued onto to Emily's old house where we walked all through the woods to the Pine Sanctuary where we lay under the branches in a bed of pine needles and stared at the stars and listening to the sound of wind in the trees.. already a pre-finals relaxer :) 

The next morning we drove back to Emily's house in Giddings, TX where I am now sitting in a beautiful warm, comforting home with classical music playing softly and home-cooking wafting through the air laying on the couches studying and watching the National Finals Rodeo. Talk about a wonderful relaxing weekend.. :D Christmas decorations to come later I believe along with the Christmas music :) I believe I will be well relaxed for finals!

Fairytales and Life

A popular Taylor Swift songs writes...
"I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around"

So many are given wrong views about fairytales and their character's lives. Many look to Disney movies and say that is a fairytale and of course life is not like that and thats why you don't get the boy or your best friend grows apart from you. But I believe that life under God is a fairytale. Every fairytale has its bad guy or witch.. obviously that would be Satan. God is like the knight in shining armour who sweeps in to save us.. what nobler or selfless prince could have done something like willingly been beaten and sacrificed upon a cross to save our lives from the bad guy? 

Too often we are distracted from our true prince but He is has always waited so patiently for us and we still think we don't have a fairytale life?  A prince that perfect and loving that wants to win us over and only has our best interest in mind? To fall in love with Christ is the perfect fairytale ending because we already know we are Christ's bride. Redeeming Love is a wonderful book to illustrate this.


This may be a overused, oversimplified, child-like explanation but it is the way I view my life and the blessing that I have in Christ. :)

Letters of Hope

This afternoon I sat down to write a letter to a friend of mine and I turned on my Christmas station on Pandora and had my coffee and pen ready. As I began to write I realized how much I wanted to send encouraging thoughts and love but I was looking for ways to make myself look intelligent or kind. I was not letting God speak through me and encourage my friend. So I looked to my favorite scriptures and realized I knew exactly what to say because it was spelled out to me through all the Psalms and Proverbs.  

One of my favorite Psalms is "When you said, Seek my face my heart said to you your face, Lord, I will seek," -Psalms 42:1-2. So in seeking my Lord's face I have come across various ways I can bring hope or encouragement into someones life. One is by writing letters to children in foreign countries who are learning to read English. Another way is Bryan Outreach which is a outreach program that my campus ministry holds where we go and play with the children and teach them about the bible.. ( A whole post will be dedicated to this later with pictures!) :)

At Christmas time many opportunities are brought to light on how you can buy gifts and support less fortunate children and their families. As a broke college student I cannot financially help in that way but so many organizations need prayer and some even need help from volunteers to manage different parts of the programs. I would encourage everyone to find a way in this Thanksgiving week just one way that they could make an impact in someones life this holiday season. A child's big smile is worth more than any other gift I could receive which for a college student is a big deal :) 

God uses us all in different ways because He has blessed us differently some with more money than others, some with more time than others and still some with more counseling abilities than others. I have learned a lot about using your own God-given gifts from my roommate who uses her musical abilities to impact lives around her. She doesn't set out pridefully to change lives because of her beautiful music but humbly and before God plays her praises and God uses her hands and voice to mold hearts to His own heart. She is a beautiful example of using her gifts for God's glory. We all have people who have impacted our lives and I would challenge everyone I meet to find just one way God has blessed you and find a way to use that to impact someone else's life.

God Bless and have a wonderful Thanksgiving week!

We Will Remember

November 18, 1999, 2:42 a.m. "But we would not forget the 12 that we lost. So we carved their names right there in the rock!" Bonfire Memorial, 12 years later.


A verse in a popular aggie song was dedicated to the 12 fallen aggies and how we would not forget them. Last night in the chilling breeze a flood of aggies came to support each other and the families that came to remember what happened 12 years ago. It brought tears to my eyes when I heard a mother lead the memorial by calling out the names with our reply as We Remember and answering Here for the fallen as we do in Muster. She lead us in singing Amazing Grace and as we sang and put our arms around each other I looked up and while I was in the fifth row back in the circle the entire circle was full and the surrounding hills around the memorial was packed with aggies who came as the 12th man to remember the 12 aggies who fell 12 years ago..


I saw two shooting stars as I looked up into the clear sky as we silently walked back through the portals and I had the chance to briefly meet the Kerlee family who's son was Tim Kerlee. He was trapped under the logs but refused assistance until others could be saved. "Help my buddies first." . . said Tim as he lay on the fallen stack. He then directed rescue workers to five others whom he could see before allowing them to free him. So many tears were shed and prayers were whispered last night and it was one of the best experiences on campus where I have truly seen the aggie family support one another. I was also thankful to be close enough to hear everything that went on and I was able to hear everything and hug the family. I will never be able to look at bonfire the same.

What is Directing Me?

As American Christian women, we hear lots of messages today about the importance of our heart – messages that put great emphasis upon our feelings, our needs, our uniqueness, and our desires. As we are often led to believe that it’s okay for us to build everything around our emotions and our wants.  “Your heart is good,” is the message of one popular Christian book. “By living out your desires and dreams, you bring glory to your Creator.”

But is our heart really good?  Should our own feelings and dreams and desires and emotions be nurtured the way American Christianity prescribes?  I believe that our emotions and desires without a doubt and certainly can be instruments of God to help direct our lives, but ONLY when they are fully yielded to Him.  

Most of us never truly die to self – we never really walk through the painful process of laying every hope, dream and wish of our heart upon the altar before our King, or of letting our identity become swallowed up in Him. Because we never do that we also never see the beautiful plan He has for us in its fullest without the contamination of us attempting to interfere.  As a result, our emotions, personality, and desires quickly take over and control us, clamoring for us to build our life around them. We forsake a life of total abandonment and service to Christ for a comfortable life of pleasure because our feelings and desires are telling us it’s the only way to be happy.

Emotions must become subservient to the Spirit of God – to His will, His agenda, His purpose, and His direction.  The vast majority of us have become enslaved to our own feelings rather than bondservants of Jesus Christ.  We should never make decisions based upon what we feel like doing – but on what our Lord is asking of us.  Loving Him is first an act of the will, a choice to put Him first – no matter what our feelings tell us. Once we learn to love Him with our will, our emotions and feelings naturally follow suit, and it becomes our greatest delight to give our lives wholly to Him. The most beautiful and precious times of my life recently have come at His mercy and when I have slowly learned to relinquish the desire to hold the pen of my life story and gave that pen wholeheartedly to Him to create a more intricate and amazing story than I could ever dream of. As the Psalmist said, “I delight to do Thy will, O my God!” (Psalm 40:8)

A Set-Apart Life

Leslie Ludy is an author of "Authentic Beauty" and "Set-Apart Femininity" among many other great works. These books have changed my life and way of thinking over the years as varying culture and views were thrown at me. From these books I have become very moved to talk to other girls and encourage them against the world's standard.. even the standard of some Christian teens to become set-apart in our life and walk with God for a purpose. HIS purpose. I hope I can serve as a light to other girls to see this glorious offer that God has given to us.

I by no means am an expert or even successful at these things but every day I ask God to bring me closer and closer still to Him and draw me away from the worldly desires that do not serve Him. Christ alone can satisfy my soul and so every day I pray " God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference."

God’s intent for us goes far beyond just saving sex until marriage, wearing one-piece swimsuits instead of skimpy string bikinis, or idolizing Christian bands and authors instead of secular ones. It is not just making sure we tack on some Christian morality to our self-indulgent lives.

His sacred intent for you and for me is nothing short of absolute abandonment to Jesus Christ, separation from the pollution of the world, and ardent worship of our King with every breath we take.

Yes, a huge vision – one that is contrary to everything our culture presents. In our modern world, we as young women seem to be presented with only two options for our femininity – we can either embrace the sensual, sexy version of womanhood glorified by pop-culture and skimpy clothing, or we can go the opposite direction and trade in perfume and make-up for grit, grunge and guy-like behavior.

But I believe both of these options cause us to completely miss out on the glorious pattern God designed for our femininity. We were created to shine with heavenly beauty, to radiate with Christ-like feminine grace and serenity, and to sparkle with the lily-white purity of our Prince. We were created to be set-apart for Him.

As you pursue this path, you will likely hear plenty of voices in the background, screaming that it is impossible to achieve this set-apart standard. But the good news is –we don’t have to achieve it on our own. As Oswald Chambers says,

"When we deliberately choose to obey God, He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power." ( My Utmost for His Highest)

Whatever your version of femininity has been up to this moment – God desires to offer you hope and a glorious future. Jesus Christ can take a life that has been bruised, rejected or squandered and make it completely new. He can empower a weak and helpless life to rise up and conquer. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done or how far from Him you feel right now – He can transform you into a radiant, victorious, world-changing set-apart young woman. All you must do is come to him with a heart fully surrendered.